Jealousy
by ishipthat
Summary: Summary: The boys are in pretty deep. They both need to sit down and get their heads sorted, but who will reach the answer first? And what will it mean for them when they do? Jealousy is sparking off Jeff's strange behavior...


**_A/N:_ I could've spent a lot of time on this fic, but time is one thing I don't have a lot of. It's the kind of fic that let's you fill in the gaps, I sort of jump days/weeks and skip to the big scenes. Sorry if you were expecting more. I did do quite a bit of research into romantic jealousy for this though… it's rather interesting.  
>Oh, and it doesn't follow the prompt a whole lot. Plus the ending is rushed, because I wanted to publish before New Year.<strong>

**_AU:_ Kurt is still at Dalton with Blaine, they all board and Nick and Jeff share a room down the hall from Blaine.**

**_Warnings: _swearing, rushed!fic.**

**_Prompt:_ Jeff is not jealous of this new Klaine relationship. His heart does not squirm with jealousy every time he sees them walking down the hall. He isn't gay and he doesn't feel jealous. That is, until he does. The new relationship keeps reminding him of the one he will never have with Nick**

* * *

><p>Jeffrey Sterling is not the jealous type. He is kind-hearted, energetic, polite and smart; he doesn't let negative emotions take over his positive outlook on life. Everyone who knows, or has ever met Jeff would tell you that he's one of the happiest people you'll ever meet. And his best friend, Nick Duval, could tell you that although he's not a very confident person he becomes fearless when given the chance to perform in front of a crowd.<p>

He became a member of the Warblers almost the second he first heard about them, and has boarded at Dalton, with Nick, since the first day. They'd become the best of friends almost immediately and have been inseparable ever since. Together they became those two guys that people always envied – they hardly fought and when they did it didn't last more than a day – their friendship was really quite incredible.

Up against Nick, Jeff looked like he slacked off when it came to schoolwork, but that was hardly true considering the fact that Nick took his studies far too seriously. But at the end of the day Jeff always helped him relax and made sure he took a break. Sometimes the blonde would distract him but Nick had learnt to block it out.

Since Kurt had moved to Dalton, Nick and Jeff had become pretty close with him, as he joined their immediate group of friends: Blaine, Thad, and Trent, Wes, David and most of the other Warblers. They spent a lot of their free time hanging out on Dalton grounds and occasionally left campus together at weekends. Even when Kurt and Blaine had become a little distant from the group, and spent more time with each other, it had still been pretty normal. And when Kurt and Blaine finally became an item things didn't change among the group.

Things did change, however, when Jeff's behavior did a 180 flip and he began avoiding everyone.

It had been almost two weeks since Dalton's power couple had gotten together and everything had been sickeningly sweet from there on out. After one or two complaints they tried to keep the PDAs to a minimum, and only around friends. But little did they know most of the complaints were coming from their friends.

They'd only recognized the change in Jeff a while after he started avoiding them. They'd put it down to dance rehearsals and going home to visit his family at the weekend, then he stopped hanging around after class altogether. That's when everyone started to worry.

* * *

><p>"Hey Jeff, are you alright?" David greeted him as usual when he sat down for lunch on Tuesday afternoon at their table in the cafeteria. He had his suspicions that the blonde Warbler was out of sorts but he couldn't tell if it was serious or not.<p>

"M'fine." He mumbled in reply whilst pushing some pasta around on his plate with a fork. David leaned over a little to try and make eye contact with Jeff but it didn't work because Jeff had his chin in his hand, and he looked down at his plate so his hair covered most of his face.

"Oh, ok. Where's everyone else?" David was later than usual and had yet to get his food, but looking around the room he couldn't see anyone else. Jeff just shrugged and stood to leave. David stared after him as he stalked out of the cafeteria, leaving his uneaten food behind. It wasn't like him at all.

The rest of the gang walked in a few minutes later, apologizing for being held back in English class, and muttering about the chaotic lesson. Kurt and Blaine were holding hands as they went to get their food, and Nick grabbed David's arm before he could join them.

"What's up with Jeff? I saw him in the hall a few minutes ago and he completely ignored me. I called after him three times." He was keeping his voice quiet so as the conversation stayed private, as much as he trusted the other guys he thought it'd be much better to keep any drama on the down low.

"I don't know, man. I tried talking to him but he just shrugged and left. Whatever's on his mind must be really getting to him; I think you should try and get to the bottom of it. It's strange seeing him like that." Wes called David's name from across the room, beckoning him over.

"Um, I'm gunna skip lunch – going to talk to Jeff – I'll see you later." He nodded as David left to line up with Wes.

To say Nick was concerned would be lying; he was wracking his brain, trying to figure out why he hadn't noticed how detached Jeff had become. He had to stop himself before he got worked up over something that could potentially turn out to be nothing, and hurried out of the room in the direction of his dorm room.

When he reached his dorm he saw the door was ajar. Nick automatically assumed that Jeff must've left it open slightly after arriving from the cafeteria. However, when Nick opened the door fully he saw that the room was empty and his friend was nowhere to be seen. Now he was really concerned.

* * *

><p>Jeff sunk down to the floor of the Warblers hall, his back pressed firmly against the door so no one could get in. He just needed some time alone – time to think, and breathe, and try to get rid of the horrible thoughts whizzing through his mind. What was happening to him?<p>

Ever since he'd seen Kurt and Blaine kiss in the hallway, ever since they'd gotten together and started to be more open about their relationship, Jeff had been feeling even crappier about his own love life – or lack thereof. It's not that he was jealous – no way, he was happy for his friends – it was just that he couldn't help feeling insecure within himself.

Whenever he saw their happy faces he felt like he was being mocked by the universe. Ok, so he'd doubted his sexuality for a while and seeing their confidence grow made him envious, but he couldn't understand why he was so angry at the world. He thought maybe there was something wrong with him.

But when he googled it – everything he'd been feeling – it came up with one word: jealousy. And in more specific searches he'd found an article about romantic jealousy, which had mentioned a few things about 'craving romantic relationships'. That led him to close the browser altogether and punch his pillow in frustration.

He _wasn't_ craving a relationship of any kind, thank you very much. At least, that's what he told himself.

The fluttering he felt inside his chest when he saw Nick on Monday told a different story.

The doors started rattling behind him, and then Jeff heard someone knocking. "Jeff? Jeff, come on, if you're in there just open up!" Nick's voice sounded panicked from the other side of the large wooden doors. Jeff didn't have the energy to sit there and pretend he couldn't hear him, so he stood up slowly and let Nick come in.

"Dude, why are you in here? I was worried about you." Nick panted, as if he'd been running or something.

"Why?" Jeff asked bluntly. _Why would you worry about me?_

"David said…" He stopped himself, thinking bringing up rumors and second-hand information probably wasn't the best way to go about things. "What's up with you? And don't say nothing cuz' you've been acting different and I won't believe that there isn't a cause."

The blonde didn't know what to say. He couldn't just come out and yell 'Kurt and Blaine are annoying me with their confidence because I'm doubting my sexuality and _damn_ you look good with your new haircut' and he refused to say he was jealous. Because he wasn't.

Now he was struggling for a valid excuse and the prospect of lying to Nick was making him uncomfortable. "I… it's not important. I don't want to talk about it." The boy crossed his arms defensively over his chest, hoping that Nick would buy his excuse.

Nick didn't know what to say in reply, he wanted to know why Jeff was acting this way but he didn't want to force it out of him. "It's ok, dude. Just – whatever it is, you can tell me. When you're ready, that is." He was attempting to sound comforting but it probably sounded better in his head. He didn't know why Jeff wouldn't just tell him, as far as he knew Jeff trusted him, and they were best friends. Don't people tell their best friends everything?

When he snapped back to reality he noticed Jeff turning towards the door in directing of their room. He remembered that Jeff had a double free next but Nick had double Latin. He considered skipping just to keep an eye on Jeff, but then he thought that Jeff would probably want some time alone.

"Hey," He called to the blonde before he could leave. Nick walked up to the boy who was facing away from him, grabbed his arm and spun him to face himself. Next thing Jeff knew, Nick had one arm around his neck and the other arm wrapped tightly around his waist in a warm hug. "Look after yourself, ok?" When the brunette pulled back Jeff just nodded silently and walked away.

On his way back to his room he saw Blaine and Kurt out the corner of his eye, holding hands and practically skipping down the hallway – all sunshine and smiles. This just made Jeff feel sick. His hands were shaking – he didn't know why – since Nick hugged him he'd been feeling light headed and tingly. It was just getting stupid now.

What was it about the sight of Kurt and Blaine kissing, or holding hands, that made Jeff feel so uncomfortable? And why was it that every time he felt uncomfortable around Kurt and Blaine his mind would go straight to Nick?

He really needed to sort his head out.

* * *

><p>Nick wasn't trying to be pushy, but Jeff was growing tired of the constant stream of questions that the brunette would fire at him every day. He kept reassuring him that everything would be okay, and that Nick was always there if he wanted to talk. But Jeff didn't think it was going to be okay, and he had to deal with it by himself; at least, that's what he told himself. He was trying his hardest to keep everyone in the dark, but little did he know the only thing he was achieving by doing this was pushing away the people who loved and cared about him.<p>

Over the past few days Jeff had taken to spending most of his time in his room when Nick wasn't around, and the rest of the time either with a cup of coffee in hand or at the library. He barely spoke a word in class and he ate all his meals away from everyone else.

Wes and David were getting tired of excusing him from Warblers practice, and the rest of the guys were growing tired of being ignored. But Nick wouldn't give up. He was going to get to the bottom of why Jeff was acting the way he was.

The only lead he had was the way he'd been acting towards Kurt and Blaine. When the two had tried to talk to him one afternoon he completely blew up; he shouted in their faces and ran back to his room. Neither of the two took any notice of Jeff's words because they knew he was going through a hard time, but now Nick _needed_ to know what he'd said to them – he was running out of ideas.

"Come on, you must remember what he said." Nick almost pleaded with Blaine over dinner.

"Like I said before, he probably didn't mean anything by it. Why would it matter?"

"It matters because… well, I don't know. I just want to know what he said; it might give some indication as to why he's like this." Kurt looked at him with pity in his eyes.

"Maybe you should just tell him, Blaine." He placed a hand over his boyfriends and smiled.

"Alright." He nodded. "At first he was just angry; he made stupid comments about how annoying he found us. Then he shouted at Kurt, so I stepped in, and he said something along the lines of 'you two are so stupid, fuck you for being so proud of your little relationship, good luck following each other around like love-sick puppies'. After that he stormed off."

"He texted me, said he was sorry and that he didn't mean it. I haven't seen him since then though, he stopped coming to any classes Blaine and I share with him."

Nick took a moment to think about what it could mean, why he would insult his friends, or what would posses him to say such things?

"Thanks guys, I-uh… I'll see you later." He mumbled before making his way back to his room in a daze.

When he got back to his room the bathroom door was shut and the shower was on. He half expected to hear Jeff singing like he always did, but there was nothing. Nick flopped down on his bed and ran his fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at it as if it would relieve his stress.

He didn't know what all of this meant; why was he so obsessed with getting to the bottom of this? Ok, so Jeff _was _his best friend and all, but most people would've stopped trying so hard long ago. Nick wasn't as willing to give up as most people. But the thought still buzzed insistently around his head. Where did this determination come from?

Could it have sprung from something else? There must've been some deeper force scratching at the door, waiting to break out.

Nick was so deep in thought that he didn't hear the water shut off; neither did he notice the door open.

"Oh… hi." Jeff's quiet voice sounded from the doorway, startling Nick back to reality. He looked up to see the blonde's hair damp and unruly, dripping onto his naked torso. Jeff was stood with a small towel, gripped tightly with one hand, covering very little of his body.

Before Nick could catch himself staring Jeff was scrambling for some clothes, diving quickly back into the bathroom.

Nick's heart was pounding in his chest uncomfortably, the rhythm resembling that of a beating drum, or the speedy tick of a metronome… or a knocking at the door.

Maybe he was one step closer to figuring this all out. What did his deep concern for Jeff, and his increased heart rate from just seeing him have in common? It must mean something. Yet, the more he thought about it the further away from a conclusion Nick seemed to get.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the bathroom door, Jeff was coming closer and closer to his answer. His mind was racing slightly faster than usual, and a fresh horde of questions began tossing themselves around his head.

So he was shying away from Nick now? Was it shame, or self-consciousness? Since when did he worry about Nick's opinion on his looks? Since when did he worry about his _own _opinion on his looks? Why was he avoiding Nick? Was it down to anger, insecurity, or fear?

Fear of rejection… fear of not being good enough or simply not being wanted. Fear of coming to terms with his own feelings. Fear of wanting something.

Wanting someone.

Wanting_ Nick_.

He sunk down against the door, letting his legs give way beneath him. He sighed in resignation, and just let himself give up caring. He was done being jealous. He was done being pathetic and angry. Now he was just _done_ with everything. How was he supposed to move forward from this point?

His head fell back against the door with a thump.

_Yup,_ he was screwed.

* * *

><p>Jeff stopped going to classes. The teachers had taken to e-mailing him the work, but he only did it to pass the time and keep his mind off of Nick. He hadn't actually talked to anyone in over a week. He lacked the motivation to leave Dalton's campus but he still avoided his and Nick's room as much as possible. His sleeping patterns were dangerously non-existent and he'd resorted to only eating small snacks alongside his coffee.<p>

It was stupidly unhealthy for him but he'd stopped caring the seconded he started caring for Nick beyond the boundaries of friendship.

Nick and Jeff had seen neither sight nor sound of each other since that day. Jeff was fooling himself into thinking that it was for the best, and that everything would go back to 'normal' if he spent enough time on his own. Nick, on the other hand, was torturing himself over it.

"But, it's probably all my fault. I've got no idea what I did but… I just thought I was finally going to get to the bottom of this. I thought I'd just ask him why he'd said all that stuff to Kurt and Blaine and everything would be alright again." He gushed to Thad. His cheek was squashed against the cool surface of the library desk that Thad had his work spread out on.

"Well, did anything happen the day he stopped talking to you?" Thad tried to sound helpful, but honestly he wasn't a very sensitive or caring guy. Sure, he cared about Nick but it didn't stop him for thinking that the boy was such a drama queen.

"Urh…" He thought for a moment. "Nothing major. Just. He did sort of walk out of the shower half naked, then he practically ran away when he saw me. Apart from that we hardly saw each other all day."

"Bingo!" He nodded with an achieved smile. "Sexual tension." He turned back to his work as if it was a problem solved. Nick just gaped at him.

"What?" His eyes grew wide at Thad's words.

"It's sexual tension, dude. Not a big deal. Just bone him and be done with it or something. Problem solved." The boy smirked and started scribbling in his notebook. It took Nick every ounce of self-restraint not to punch Thad in the face. He knew the boy was only trying to be helpful, but he found it thoroughly offensive that he'd talk about Jeff in such a way. "No wonder he's bitching out, you guys are probably so sex deprived that even _Wes_ is getting more ass than you."

"Shut the hell up, Thad." Nick snapped. That caused Thad's head to jolt up; he studied the boy's expression and sighed.

"Wow man, I knew you guys had tension but I thought it was just from the lack of boning up in that room." The way Nick was so protective of Jeff, the way he seemed to care so much, the reason why their friendship was so strong… it was all because of one thing. "You guys are in love, aren't you?" His tone had softened noticeably, and he was looking at Nick with a warm and genuine smile.

"W-what? Dude, I mean, come on! That's so not true." The brunette spluttered.

But when he thought about what he meant by 'not true' he found himself only referring to Jeff. He gulped.

"Oh god." His brow furrowed and his gaze blurred. The words came out as a whisper but Thad still heard him.

"Oh man, you didn't- " He paused. "Look, Nick, it's okay… being in love with Jeff, um. It will be ok. I'm sure he feels the same or whatever." Thad took his silence as a cue to stop talking.

"I've, urh, I'm gonna go now. See ya later." He waved half-heartedly and stumbled out of the library, leaving Thad alone.

* * *

><p>When he got back to his room after an hour of wondering around the grounds of Dalton he found something he wasn't expecting to find. Jeff was standing in the middle of the room, suitcase packed, key in hand, trainers messily tied as if he was in a hurry… he was leaving.<p>

"Jeff, what're you- ?" The blonde interrupted before he could finish.

"I wanted to be gone before you got back. I left a note." His voice was small and timid; Nick figured he probably hadn't talked very much over the past week. He looked so unhealthy; the boy was stick thin, the bags under his eyes dark and heavy, and his face just looked so miserable. "Sorry, I can't be here anymore." Jeff mumbled, pushing past Nick and disappearing out the door before the brunette could stop him.

When the initial shock washed over him in waves of guilt and failure he figured that it had been a long time coming. Jeff couldn't continue the way he had been, and if going home would help him Nick wasn't going to stand in his way. Asking him to stay would be selfish.

But he wanted him to stay so badly.

Now he'd realized exactly how much he needed Jeff he didn't want to let him slip away, but confessing his love when his head was still so messed up would end up being a mistake.

He'd give it a week. One week, and he'd tell Jeff. All he had to do was last seven days without him and then he could tell him everything.

Nick saw the note that rested thoughtfully on his pillow; the handwriting on the front was Jeff's usual messy scrawl. He willed himself to walk over and pick it up. When he did he saw the back of the envelope wasn't even tucked in or stuck down. Nick pulled out the single piece of notepaper and began to read it.

_Nick,_

_I wanted to start this letter by saying sorry. I shouldn't have tried to cut you out of my life; my suffering didn't justify me almost dragging you down with me.  
>The past few weeks have been tough, and although I don't think I'll ever be ready to really tell you why, you deserve at least something.<em>

_It started with Kurt and Blaine. When they got together I began feeling… jealous. Don't get me wrong; I'm happy for them, it's just that seeing them so happy together hurts. It's just reminding me of something I'll never have. I'll never be happy like them and coming to the realization that the person I love will never love me back hurts. I don't expect you to understand what it's like, but it's tearing me apart, and I can't bear to stay another minute in this school._

_I don't know when, or if, I'll be back. But I want you to know that I'm sorry for dragging you into my mess, even though I didn't mean to. I'm sorry for being a pain in the ass. And I'm sorry for bailing on you, man. _

_Jeff x _

Nick was beginning to understand _exactly_ how Jeff felt. The blonde was in love with someone, and Nick was certain that that someone wasn't him. Everything fell into place in Nick's mind now. It explained the way Jeff had been acting towards everyone, and why he'd avoided Nick. But now he had a new problem to solve.

Who was Jeff in love with?

The first thing that sprung to mind was that it could've been Kurt or Blaine, but then again, was Jeff even gay? Sexuality wasn't a topic often pushed at Dalton, considering the kind of place it had become. He wondered if maybe he was bisexual – he'd had a girlfriend once but that didn't necessarily mean that he was straight.

And that's when it hit Nick. What was he? Sure, he'd only just discovered he was in love with Jeff, but what did that mean for his sexuality? Nick was the kind of person that didn't obsess over these matters, so as of now he was 'undecided'. He didn't feel the need to put an immediate label on himself – as cliché as it sounded.

Nick spent the rest of his evening curled up on Jeff's bed, just wishing he'd come back, and tossing names around in his head. He couldn't for the life of him find one name that seemed to fit the puzzle. Not one name that crossed his mind seemed like a match for Jeff; but when he thought of himself and Jeff together a goofy grin found its way to his face. He quickly distracted himself before he got too carried away with daydreaming about his best friend who was currently at home instead of at Dalton with Nick.

How was he going to survive a whole week without him?

That's when he heard several urgent knocks at their – _his_ – door. He didn't even get the chance to answer before it swung open, revealing Wes, David, Kurt and Blaine.

"We saw Jeff leaving." Kurt panted. They'd obviously run to his room the second they saw.

"Did you guys have a fight?" Wes looked sympathetic.

"What's going on?" David pushed everyone inside the room so as he could see Nick.

"Woah, calm down guys." Blaine scowled at them, turning towards Nick with a sorrowful smile. "Did you tell him?"

Nick took a moment to process what was happening. "Did I tell him what?"

"That you're in love with him!" Kurt looked a little excited when Nick smiled slightly, knowing that he was right.

"You guys really need to stay out of other peoples business." He almost laughed. "I didn't tell him, no. But he's leaving Dalton for a while. And I'm giving him a week until I tell him how I feel and hope that it doesn't push him further away from this place." His tone was bitter, and resentful.

"Why would it-" Wes nudged Kurt to make him stop talking. Of course, everyone, apart from Nick, naturally assumed that Jeff felt the same way. If his behavior - both before and after this madness - was anything to go by then they were correct.

"We should leave." Blaine pushed everyone out of the room. Before he left he poked his head around Nick's door and said "we're all here for you if you want to talk, okay? You don't have to be alone." Blaine knew that with Jeff gone Nick was bound to feel a little lost. After all, they'd been the best of friends since day one.

_Oh god,_ Nick thought, _we're best friends. I've fallen for my best friend. This is so wrong._

Nick fell asleep that night with the thought of Jeff on his mind, and the blondes name on his lips.

* * *

><p><em>He stood in the doorway of their room, his suitcase beside him. Nick could barely bring himself to speak, but it wasn't necessary because the second he opened his mouth the figure lunged for him, slamming the door behind himself.<em>

_Next thing Nick knew he was pinned up against the wall, the stranger forcefully prying his mouth open with his tongue. He could feel his hands firmly holding him down. "You're so needy, Nick. Can't go a day without thinking about me… wanting me… needing me. It's pathetic."_

"_Jeff?" He stammered, looking up to see the blondes face, dark and menacing. _

_A few seconds later he found himself laying down on his bed with Jeff straddling him. He was attacking his neck with sharp bites and soft flicks of his tongue, and _damn_ it felt good. He was already hard, and by the way Jeff was thrusting against him he could tell that he was too. "Please," He wined. "Please don't leave me, Nicky."_

_He was grabbing desperately at Nick's chest, burying his head against his shoulder._

"_I promise, baby, I promise." He gasped out, trying to create more friction between them._

"_I only left you because I need you- fuck." Jeff kept grinding himself against Nick, kissing him softly over and over._

Nick awoke with a start. His cock was already leaking against his boxers, and it took him a second to realize that he was alone. He didn't hesitate in shoving his hand under the sheets in his sleepy daze, jerking his hand roughly over himself. It only took a few strokes before he was coming, moaning Jeff's name.

When it dawned on Nick what he'd just done he rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. _Well, _he though, _that was new._ And by 'that' he meant jerking off to the though of Jeff, his _male_ friend. A blush crept onto his face at the memory of the dream; he couldn't deny that it was hot as hell, but it was only serving to confuse him even more.

_Ok, so I'm pretty darn sure I'm gay now._ He felt happy with that conclusion. But now he was sure wouldn't he have to come out?

His thoughts were interrupted by his phone. He unlocked it to see a new message from Jeff. He wasn't expecting to hear from him so soon. He opened the text, and all it said was…

_Sorry._

Nick didn't hesitate in texting back. He'd screwed things up enough by falling in love with Jeff. What did he have to lose?

_Why?_

The reply was instant.

_I fucked up. I fucked up, and then I left you._

Maybe Nick was reading into this text too much, but the way he said 'I left you' instead of just 'I left' made him think that maybe part of the reason for Jeff leaving was to do with Nick.

It hadn't even been a day yet, and living in that dorm room without Jeff was driving him crazy. The thought of his best friend, heartbroken and curled up in bed, made something inside of him stir. His fingers began to itch, and every muscle in his body was screaming at him. Screaming for him to move.

He didn't even shower. He chucked on some clothes, grabbed his phone a left.

All the while his heart was beating wildly, like a siren call was trying to tug it out of his chest. He wasn't thinking straight, and he probably needed more time to think this through, but another moment without his best friend would break him. Without Jeff he was nothing.

Screw waiting a week, screw rejection, and other people's opinions. He was tired of sitting around and being helpless when it came to Jeff.

The car ride to Jeff's house seemed shorter than ever, almost instant. He jumped out of the car, slamming the door, and walked up his drive. His parents were at work already; the only car in their drive was Jeff's. He looked up to see his bedroom window; the curtains were shut.

When he reached the front door he knocked twice and when there was no reply he began banging on the door, shouting for Jeff to open it. It was like he was possessed; something other than himself was taking control of his body.

Jeff wasn't going to answer. It took him all of a few seconds to find the spare key to the house inside a plant pot. He carefully unlocked the door and leapt upstairs to Jeff's room. His door was open slightly, and he knocked before entering.

The room was dark, and Jeff was sat on the floor, his back against the end of his bed, earplugs in his ears and eyes on his phone. Nick walked over to him, drawing the boy's attention when he stood in front of him. Jeff took the ear plugs out of his ears and Nick crouched down. The look on Jeff's face was amazing; he looked shocked, and frightened for his life, yet gentle and soft.

The blonde couldn't bring himself to speak.

"Why did you leave?" Nick voice came out as a whisper. Jeff was having a hard time believing that Nick was actually in his room.

"I… I left because I was jealous." He murmured, his jaw dropping at the stunning sight of Nick glaring down at him.

"I mean the real reason." Jeff was beginning to squirm under Nick gaze. He felt the intense need to get out of there as soon as he could; to get up and run away… again. But no, he was sick of running. Where had it got him? He had spent the day alone in the dark, listing to sad music, too numb to cry. When he thought about it he felt stupid, but when he looked at Nick he was just scared.

"I can't tell you." He replied, scrambling to his feet and heading towards the door. The look of frustration on Nick's face was instant. He bolted after him, grabbing the blondes' wrist and pulling him back. He struggled against Nick until the boy grabbed his other hand and pushed him back against the door.

He leaned in close, his hot breath ghosting over Jeff's cheek. "I want a real reason, and I want it now. I've tried so hard to be there for you, and to help you. I've been wracking my brain these past few weeks, trying to figure out just what it was that got you in this state. And sure, I get it; you love someone who doesn't love you back. But why leave? Who the fuck would make you want to leave?" He couldn't fight the anger bubbling under his skin; pure jealously ran through his veins. Whoever Jeff was in love with didn't deserve him. Not when Nick was the one running around after him, trying to take care of him. Whoever it was, Nick was going to tell them to fuck off, and come back when they actually cared for Jeff.

"I can't…" Jeff stammered. Tears gathered in his eyes, but he fought them back. "Why are you doing this? Why are you even here?" His voice was weak.

"I'm here, Jeff, because I care about you. I fucking care about you a damn sight more than this guy does – whoever you're in love with – and he doesn't deserve you. You're a wonderful, funny, smart, brilliant, _strong _guy, and anyone who can break you this easily isn't worth it. Not when I care for you this much. It isn't fair!" His voice had risen to the point that he was almost yelling at Jeff. The boy timidly removed his hands from Nick grip, and stared at him with round, innocent eyes.

"So, you came all this way to tell me that you _care_ about me." He could see the disappointment in Jeff's eyes.

"No." He snapped. It came out a little harsher than he'd intended. "No. Jeff, I came here to tell you I care about you more than _he_ cares about you. I care about you more than you care about yourself. I care about you more than you care about me."

Jeff scoffed. "For fuck sake, Nick. You're doing it again." He shouted, a bitter laugh stinging his tongue. "It drives me fucking crazy when you talk in riddles like that. Why can't you just fucking come out and say what you damn mean instead of dancing around it all the bloody time? I'm sick of it. Yet, I still can't stop fucking thinking about you. It's mad. I'm absolutely unhinged, and it's all your fault." He was almost laughing properly now.

Nick was stunned; the words wouldn't seem to come to him. He had no idea how to reply. Except it seemed as though his mouth did all the work for him. "I'm not talking in riddles, Jeff. I mean what I say. And what I'm saying is that I love you. I fucking adore everything you are. And watching you fall for this stupid guy, and getting upset over it, seeing you jealous over someone other than me make _me_ jealous. How is that even logical? That's the thing though; ever since this whole this started nothing has made sense. You haven't made sense. Your reason for leaving doesn't make sense. My feelings for you are the only damn thing that makes sense. Tell why that is, Jeff. Please, fucking enlighten me."

Jeff seemed calm, even though Nick grip was back on his hands, pinning them to the wall either side of his head. "Did you seriously not listen to what I just said? Did you miss the part where I said 'I'm mad about you' and that 'I can't stop thinking about you'? Geez, dude, you're smart, but you can't half be fucking oblivious sometimes." He pulled his hands sharply from Nick's grip, and entwined their fingers together. "I love you." He whispered.

Nick's brain didn't have time to processes that last sentence before Jeff's lips when on his own, warm and inviting. He moved automatically to press his body into Jeff's, and relaxed against him. Everything made sense now; at least, it did to Nick. He knew exactly where he stood with Jeff; and that place was in his bedroom, pinning him up against the door, kissing the heck out of him.

When Nick pulled back the grin on Jeff's face made him chuckle lightly.

"So, one more question." Jeff's eyes flickered open to meet his own. Nick nodded. "Boyfriends?" Jeff raised his eyebrow in question.

"Boyfriends." Nick leaned in to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I missed seeing you smile."

That only caused Jeff to smile more.

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><p><strong>Sorry for any mistake ect. Just wanted to publish quick :D Hope you like it :) 36<strong>


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